DRUGS & ALCOHOL
Making sure your teen stays healthy includes protecting them from drugs and alcohol. Teen’s brains are still developing and continue to do so until their mid-20s or later, especially the parts that manage decision-making and impulse control. Substance use during this time period can negatively interfere with this development. For example, delaying alcohol use until age 21 reduces the risk of developing addiction from 1 in 4 to 1 in 25. The national trend, including here in Hastings (see Data), shows that teenage substance use is on the decline. Still, teens might experiment with substance use for a number of reasons including peer pressure, curiosity, or to cope with stress. Additionally, tobacco, alcohol and marijuana industries market to teens with influencers, bright colored packaging and exciting flavors.
Know your own feelings: Before you can have a conversation with your child, understand your own feelings around substance use. Get on the same page with your spouse/partner – ambiguity opens the door for confusion and experimentation.
Your past is not their present: Parents and caregivers may hope things will be OK with regard to substance use because of their own experiences. But it’s important to recognize that each individual has a unique set of characteristics that affects susceptibility to substance use and addiction; the types, strengths and risks of available substances change over the years; and many of the social circumstances that contribute to substance use risk today are quite different from what they were in the past.
Setting expectations and boundaries: Once you know your own boundaries, make them clear to your child. Clear and consistent expectations, boundaries and consequences are important to establish early, before your child begins using. Just as important is praise for meeting those expectations. The research is clear that despite signs from teens that they want you to leave them alone, young people consistently point to parents as the most important influence on their decisions around substance use.
Communicate: Having frequent, open, non-judgmental and empathetic conversations with your child is the foundation of effective parenting no matter what you are discussing. A good thing to keep in mind is that these conversations tend to be most effective when you listen more than you talk. It’s best if you become the main source of information about substance use, rather than their friends or other less reliable sources like social media or the Internet.
Model: Very permissive parental attitudes about substance use as well as heavy drinking or any drug use by parents are strongly associated with more frequent and heavier use by teens. Be mindful of your own behaviors and attitudes and how they affect your child. Although what we communicate verbally to children is extremely important, possibly more important is what they see us do.
In addition to what you can do, understanding the why, who, where, when, and how allows you to open the door to communicating effectively with your children.
WHY: Kids (like adults) choose to vape, drink or use drugs not because they want to do something bad, but for a practical reason (e.g., to see what it feels like, to “party,” to feel a part of a group or culture, to escape problems). Using alcohol or drugs to help cope with sadness, stress or anxiety may feel like an escape to your teen, but it’s not a healthy long-term solution. Understanding “why” a child wants to use allows you to open the discussion and promote alternative, healthier activities that can help your child achieve similar feelings or goals.
WHO: One of the strongest predictors of substance use is whether a person spends time with other people who use (including friends, siblings and parents). The reverse is true for people who don’t vape, drink or use drugs.
WHERE: Availability drives substance use. Whether it be in the home or at a party, if nicotine, alcohol or drugs are accessible, the likelihood of use increases. Limit access to all addictive substances in your home and be mindful of environments where they are available.
WHEN: Regardless of your beliefs around substance use, the evidence is clear. The longer young people delay first use, the less likely they are to develop problems.
HOW: This is not a one-and-done conversation. Adapting your communication to your child’s developmental stage and actual social circumstances (e.g., a freshman vs. a senior; access to alcohol vs. limited availability) allows you to have more meaningful and relevant conversations.
Tip: Being awake when you children get home from a social event and having a conversation about their experiences – even a conversation that has nothing to do with alcohol or drugs – is helpful to keeping the lines of communication open, giving them something to remember while they are out, and letting them know you are there for them.
In addition to these more controllable factors, some teens are at greater risk due to underlying mental health conditions or a history of substance use in the family. Understanding your child’s temperament (e.g., risk taker, socially anxious, etc.) and other risk factors for problem use can help you have useful conversations with your child and know when it’s best to seek outside help.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
For more tips on prevention and intervention (e.g., vaping guides, how to talk about marijuana) go to these sites:
To speak with a parent or caregiver specialist about your child’s nicotine, alcohol or drug use, Text your question to 55753 and a specialist will get back to you within 24-48 hours.
To find a therapist or treatment support in our area go to: